
THE FOLLOWING IS THE EULOGY GIVEN BY HOPE FEIST FOR HER MOTHER NANCY AND HER BABY BROTHER PETER DAVID ON JUNE 24TH, 2009 AT ALL SAINTS CATHOLIC CHURCH, WHICH WAS PACKED WITH PEOPLE, PRIESTS, DEACONS, AND EVEN FOUR BISHOPS. NANCY FEIST WAS A GOOD FRIEND TO ME AND AN ADVOCATE FOR ALL THE CLERGY IN THE DIOCESE OF KNOXVILLE. SHE WAS THE EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT TO OUR TWO LAST BISHOPS SINCE 2000. NANCY WAS ONE OF OUR FAITHFUL GUARDIANS OF THE EXPOSED BLESSED SACRAMENT ON FIRST FRIDAY'S AT KCHS. SHE LOVED KNOXVILLE CATHOLIC HIGH AND SHE WILL BE GREATLY MISSED BY ALL WHO KNEW HER. PLEASE KEEP THE FEIST FAMILY IN YOUR PRAYERS. HOPE FEIST IS A SOPHOMORE AT KCHS AND IS THE ELDEST DAUGHTER OF NANCY AND DAVE'S FIVE CHILDREN. MAY NANCY AND HER SON PETER REST IN PEACE IN THE STRONG ARMS OF JESUS, FOREVER, AMEN.
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“I love you, higher than the sky, and deeper than the ocean”
I can’t tell you how many times in my lifetime my mother has said those words to me. It was our own phrase, our trademark, and I think it says a lot about her. The first reading that we chose for today talks about a mother’s love. And even though we’re told God’s love is even greater than a mother’s, our mother’s love, I believe her love was just about as boundless and plentiful as any love comes.
I’m standing in front of you all today, and in the space of three or four minutes I’m supposed to tell you all about my mother. I don’t know what to say and what not to say. I’m supposed to tell all of you about her life, her loves, her goodness…… everything. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that, but I sure as heck am going to try.
Back at Monsignor Thoni’s 60th anniversary celebration just weeks ago, when Archbishop Kurtz did his homily, he was able to sum up Fr. Thoni’s years of service in one incredible sentence. I can’t think up a good sentence like he did, but I do have one word for Mama. Love. In everything she did, everyone she met. Mom was love.
Daddy, I know you already know this, but Mommy loved you more than anyone else on this earth. She would have done anything for you. And I know everyone around you has been telling you this (and I don’t mean to be repetitive) but she won’t stop loving you from where she is. She’ll be with you as much as she always has been. And baby Peter and the two others are right there with her.
Justin…. I don’t even have real words of wisdom for you. You always loved and cherished Mommy. You were so thoughtful, and you tried to get her to do what she needed for herself more than anything else. She loved being there for you. She loved helping you with projects and coming to your games. She loved those midnight conversations you had with her after everyone else was already asleep. I’ll tell you what I told Daddy. She won’t stop loving you. Ever.
Ryan. I know how much you love Mama and how much she loves you. I know how special she was to you. I know you remember a lot of times with her from when you were really young. You remember snuggling with her early in the morning, and knocking on your ceiling in the middle of the night because her bedroom was right above yours. I’m sorry we used to tease you for always being the one to try and sit next to her at dinner and that sort of thing. I know she remembers that with love. She was so proud of you in everything you did, and everything you learned. And she always will be.
Craig, honey. You hang in there. I know how much you loved Mommy and how much she loved you. Remember all the time you spent with her? All the times driving places in the van, all the hugs, and all the kisses. Don’t forget those Craig. Mommy won’t. She loves you so much. She’s so pleased with all you’ve learned and at the young man you’re growing into. She was so glad when you started playing soccer because she knew how much fun you had running up and down that field. And she took so many pictures. She loves you.
Er-bear, honey. You were Mama’s baby for so long. She remembers all the time you spent together and all the times you held her hand and helped her with stuff she had to do. I’m scared you won’t remember her very much by the time you get older, but we will help you. She won’t ever forget you. And she knows how much you loved Baby Peter too. All the hugs you gave her and all the times you kissed her belly because you wanted to kiss the Baby. She loves you lots, right? You know that.
Nana and Grandad? All I can say is I’m sorry. I wish this wasn’t happening and that I could wave my hand and this would all go away. Everyone always says no parent should have to bury their child. But Mommy loved you so so so so much. She told me about memories she had from when she was little. She always loved seeing you and talking on the phone with you.
All our other family members who are here, the only thing I can do is repeat Mama’s theme of love. You were all so important to her and she loved having you as part of her life. In some cases she was the reason that the rest of us stayed in touch with you. Don’t think that just because she’s gone we’ll stop staying in touch. It won’t happen.
To all of Mommy’s friends and colleagues, all the clergy, and everyone else who knew her, she loved you too. I want to thank you for being here. I wish I could tell all of you individually how much you meant to her, but I’d be standing here for years if I tried to do that. Just know that she won’t ever forget you, and that we’ve got about the greatest prayer warrior EVER up there now.
I want to talk for a minute about Baby Peter, because we’re remembering him here today too. He was such a little blessing that got to be a part of our lives for a short while. The last time Mama went to the doctor he was one pound and seven ounces of pure, perfect baby. I’m so glad Fr. Augustine was able to baptize him, and that Father Pete and Father Reagan were able to be in that hospital room with my dad. We have Baby Peter’s little hand and footprints, and even a picture of him. You may have seen them already. I don’t mean to seem political here at all, but it made me wonder how anyone in the world can say that children inside the womb are not alive. Peter still had 14 weeks to go before he would have been born, but it was almost possible to save him even now. Anyone that says Peter wasn’t a real child or that any other child at 26 weeks in the womb isn’t really alive….. I just can’t even wrap my mind around how you’d convince yourself of that. I can’t wait till the day when I get to meet my mother and baby Peter together. But I know till then he’s up in heaven praying for us just as much as Mama is.
You know, when anyone close to you dies, the family and friends always talk about and discuss how kind, how good, how loving that person was. A lot of times they will say, “Ah, so and so was such a Saint”. And I don’t mean to be speaking out of turn here at all, but most of the time, that sentence is more than a little exaggerated. In my mother’s case, it wasn’t. I know Mama is a Saint. That’s just who she was. Mama could have gone anywhere with her skills and her training. You know she was in Good Housekeeping years and years ago as one of the most promising young women in America? She was a double major in German and English, and she worked for the German American Chamber of Commerce in New York City for a while. She could have gone far in her career. She decided to go far in a totally different way. She had all of us children, and stayed home with us, until a great friend asked her if she’d be willing to work for him. And even then she was serving in a completely different capacity than she would have if she’d wanted to become big and “further herself” in the career she’d thought of when she was younger. I don’t think she ever imagined how big an impact she had by being a wife, mother, and friend to us all.
I will tell you that my mother was one of my best friends. She knew more about me than anyone else did. I’ll always cherish the past two years when she’s driven me to school almost every morning. And the times when she’d drop everything to talk to me, when we’d get hot chocolate at Panera and then just sit in a parking lot somewhere and talk. About everything. I’ll remember the times we were goofballs making dinner and listening to music, when we’d start dancing in the kitchen. I’ll never ever ever forget all the love I have for my mother, and all the love she had for us.
I could talk all day about Mama, but I have to stop at some point. I want to end with just a few more notes. Mama’s favorite bible verse of all time was Jeremiah 29:11. It says, “For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope, and a future.” God does have some plan for all of us in the midst of this. We can’t doubt that. And one of the Beatitudes is “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” I guess Mama was just so pure in heart that God couldn’t wait to see her. But we will again, someday. Don’t worry.
Somewhere in a book I’ve read recently, there were two characters who kept being separated. I think it was because of war; I can’t really remember. But they never said goodbye. They always said, “Until we meet again” Because of the strange and sudden way that Mama died, most of us never got to say goodbye to her. So I, like the characters in that book, don’t want to say goodbye. I want to say, “Until we meet again”.
And I love you, Mama. Higher than the sky, and deeper than the ocean. For forever.
- Hope Feist, JUNE 24, 2009