Monday, June 17, 2013

Stick a fork in me...

  So I was told a few months ago that my job would not be continued at KCHS due to budget shortfalls etc...  It seems silly to post anything here at this point since I sort of bagged posting on this blog back in 2011.  But hey, just in case anyone is still poking around in here, I had a gas with all of the young people I came into contact with during my time at Catholic.  The school remains a fantastic place to send your kids and a great community to enter into and graduate from.  I will look back on my time there with only fond memories and I'm deeply saddened that it's all over.

  Thanks to all who invested their trust in me, befriended me, and put up with me since Fall of 2007.

:(   dpat 

Friday, June 10, 2011

Happy 4th of "JUNE?"

  Four years ago yesterday, there were 28 of us washing the floor at All Saints with our tears and trying to contain our fear, enthusiasm, elation, and terror all at the same time.  June 9, 2007 was when the very first class of Permanent Deacons were ordained in the Diocese of Knoxville.

  As is often the case, this day often falls in the week when all the priests are on retreat so many of us were very busy presiding at communion services during Mass times in some of our parishes.  I was lucky enough to preach at my own parish as well as at All Saints.

  Shortly before the 12:10 service began, I walked out into the dark Sanctuary and stood for a while over my spot where I lay prostrate on the floor, begging God to help me understand the enormity of what was to happen next regarding the ordination rite.

  Four years later, I'm still asking God the same question as I ponder all I've experienced, learned, and continue to hope for.  There are a few things that I have learned for sure that I thought I might share:

1.  Don't offer God your life in vocation unless you are ready to be radically changed.
2.  Don't run from that still small voice in your heart.
3.  Tears are evidence of immeasurable power rather than shallow weakness.
4.  The Eucharist is absolutely central and seminal in understanding our relationship with Christ Jesus.
5.  Maybe the only meaningful thing we can offer God is our thanks and praise.

  These four years have been wonderfully difficult, but through it all I am now a little closer to the person I was created to be than who I was when I began this journey.  Since all of you are part of my vocation and horizon, know that I love being a Deacon, even on the worst days, and that I have received countless blessings in the last four years.  Please pray for me that I would continue to grow in faith, place my trust in the Lord with everything, and that I would cause no harm to the people Jesus places in my path.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Editing the Senior Video and my years at KCHS....

  It seems odd to me that I'm posting a blog post here for the first time since August... I guess I migrated everything to the "dpatsblog" blog and sort of left this one fallow...

So, maybe no one will even read this one and maybe it will be my last post...

At any rate, I spent about nine hours yesterday working on my version of the Senior Video for the class of 2010 at KCHS.  I went back through various spirit weeks to look for footage and found some really cool things.  This is actually the very first class that I travelled the entire experience from freshman year through graduation.  It has been an amazing journey to be sure.  I will miss these guys (most of them), and their class was really different than previous year's.  The good kids were exceptional and the kids at the other end of the spectrum gave us all challenges we'd all like to forget.

The senior retreat was a fantastic experience for all who participated and I think having it so close to the time they actually graduate has it's advantages.

I'm hoping to finish the video sometime in the next few days and post it on vimeo so you can see the result.  It's going to be a cool piece, but it will never truly capture the vivaciousness of being in high school, or the pain of adolescence, or the pure joy and excitement of new love so often discovered in this four year stretch.  To be in high school is to be alive!  That I have received the gift of repeating the experience is a cause for thanksgiving and wonder.

All that energy, all that growth in such a short time, and all the challenges they face in 2011....

That so many of them chose to share bits and pieces of their lives and struggles with me calls me to a much deeper humbleness and a greater appreciation of how smart, quick, and deep high school age people are.  They "get" so much more than we realize.  We see them silly in the hallways during break, but then they can stop a teacher in their tracks with one question that manifests their capture of vast concepts and proves their real command of knowledge.  It's an awesome thing to behold... a huge group of people becoming...  That I get to wander in and our of their lives and even in sometimes their hearts has been my honor and privilege.  

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Mowing grass with Harry Potter...



I was mowing grass making my usual straight clump-rows in our front yard on my last Saturday off before December, when "flying"out of our garage came Harry Potter, running like the wind, wand drawn and out in front of him, and his black, round glasses glinting in the sunlight!  His Gryffindor Quidditch robes trailing behind him as he ran in search of the ever-elusive "golden snitch."

It was, of course, our son Patrick, who is now six years old. 

What makes a kid run like that for no reason?  Imagination, creativity, boundless energy, a happiness welling up inside him that is so great and profound, that it made him leave the comfortable & cool confines of our family room (read that as where our Wii lives), and run like the wind outside.  That I began to chase him with my zero-turn lawnmower made the game even more exciting for both of us...

Where is my joy like that?  I had it...  I know I did.  I shed a tear or two every time the grownups can't hear the bells on Polar Express, and a few more in toy Story 3 when Andy's Mom visits his empty room as he heads off to college.  I desperately want Clarence to get his wings each time I watch, "It's a Wonderful Life."  But seriously, running outside on a hot day for no reason????

When Jesus tells us "anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." (Mark 10:15),  I think this is the stuff he's talking about.  We need to never tire of the wonder of it all.  Why doesn't the Eucharist compel me to run with a cape and funny glasses on like my son when I know it should do even more for me?

When I listed to Father Chris's homily today at Mass, I began to think about my son and his love of imagination and I began to realize my own is lacking.  I'm not talking about wanting to go to Hogwarts rather than to work at KCHS...  I'm talking about dwelling a little more often on the many miracles that surround me every day. 

Riding my motorcycle definitely transports me somewhere else whenever I ride.  It puts me in a new place that is removed form anything else.  It clears my head and allows me to think more clearly and I notice stuff I ignore when driving in a car.  I am filled with joy to twist the throttle back and have the immediate response of a 14" drive shaft turn the rear wheel, and the wind feels good, even if it's coming in through my helmet vents.  This is a secondary moment for me in experiencing what my son is doing with his cape.  It's about relaxation, being contemplative, and enjoying the moment.  But there is more!!!

Christ offers us himself each day in the context of the holy Mass.  He invites us to participate in the supernatural.  He invites us to participate in his very life and body.  He invites us to participate in the most important friendship possible: one between all of us and Himself.  He invites us to be Christians.

Fr. Chris expressed how he looks forward to Mass each Sunday so that he can find support from everyone attending as we are all in the same boat of sin.  It made me feel better to hear him say that he often does not live what he preaches; I can relate to that sentiment!

So here is a challenge to you today:  Find joy in your life and then turn to Christ in that joy and say thank you.  This is the cliff notes version of the Eucharist anyways.  Just begin to baptize the good things in your life.  Understand that everything good you encounter comes from God and pretty soon you'll realize that you might need to pick up your own cape, glasses, and wand, and run like the wind...

Monday, April 19, 2010

Proud to be Catholic Even in Tough Times!


Last week, I covered the press conference for the Diocese of Knoxville and shot video & still photos and captured the audio for the event for our website.  The allegation is no more and another priest has admitted terrible wrongdoing from many years ago about his involvement as a pedophile, but this time, in our Diocese.  
Many years ago, long before I was even born, my Uncle John went to my grandmother and tried to tell her something important.  He never got out all he wanted to say as he tried to his Mom about what Fr. Abercrombie had been doing with him on vacations, at camp, and even in their home.  He got in big trouble and got grounded for even mentioning anything negative about the great man, the family friend, and holy priest.
My Uncle John was about ten when he tried to tell his Mom, the age that the abuse began for the brave man that came forward last week to offer his experiences that took place a long time ago at the hand of a priest from the then Diocese of Nashville.
My Uncle John grew up and became a fantastic lawyer, fathered three great kids, got on with his life, and forgot all about those dark memories.  Then, one night, when he was in his 50’s, he awoke in the middle of the night from a bad dream.  The dream kept coming back every night and continued for a long time.  My aunt finally asked him to go see somebody, which he did.  In therapy, the truth came out quickly, the dark memories came back and a flood of emotion and anger poured from my Uncle.  He got mad, and he began to try to find Fr. Abercrombie who had been moved many times, over and over by various bishops in Denver and then in California. 
My uncle then reached out to his three brothers who immediately denied having any experience like that.  They pushed him away.  But a few weeks after my John spoke with my Uncle Ed, he realized he had no explanation for why he couldn’t stand the smell of men’s sweat.  He loved to play racquetball daily but always went home to shower and avoided the locker room where he played.  Things began to click for him as well and within a short time, my Uncle Ed confided to my Uncle John that he was remembering things as well… things that made him sick.
Eventually, in 1993, my Uncle John began to pursue legal means to go after first, Fr. Abercrombie, and then the Diocese of Denver.  He was stonewalled, told to go away, ignored, and it so infuriated him that he began writing letters to Pope John Paul II, asking to be excommunicated.  My Uncle John is now a professed atheist and free-thinker.
Finally a settlement was reached between my three uncles and the Diocese of Denver, but this didn’t happen until 2008, many years after the sexual molestation had taken place and fifteen years since my Uncle John began legal means to get attention about Fr. Abercrombie.  It wasn’t until immediately after another diocese in California settled in a class action suit for victims of Abercrombie that the Diocese of Denver  reached out with their offer to settle.
Fast forward to last week’s press conference…  as I sat behind the camera shooting the video, I kept having to wipe tears away from my eyes to focus and shoot.  I kept thinking about my three uncles at the hands of Fr. Abercrombie, how wrong he was, how little and innocent they all were when he took advantage of them in the 1950’s, and how much time had passed before the church actually admitted wrongdoing and accepted responsibility his reign of terror over my Mom’s little brothers.  But I was also reacting to my own heart hearing the words my bishop was saying.  The last two paragraphs, in particular, were a stark contrast my own families’ experience:
“Our first concern is for Mr. Tucker, his family, and anyone else who may have been harmed by Father Casey. We want to help him in his healing process in any way we can.  I want to assure you that Father Casey has been removed from ministry and will never again function as a priest in the Catholic Church.
When I was ordained in 2007, one of the first things I did was to call my Uncle John.  Needless to say, he’s not happy about my being a Deacon, but he tried really hard to be happy for me anyway as he knew how important that day was for me.  I got him on the phone and I told him that I was sorry.  It was an awkward moment between us, especially on the phone.  What I actually said to him then, escapes me now, but it was heartfelt, honest, and I was very sad in my demeanor.  He accepted my apology quietly and thanked me for my call.  It was hard for both of us.
So there I was trying to reconcile my feelings about how we had been abused as a family by the Church, while listening to every word spoken by Bishop Stika with awe.  Everything the Bishop said that day and in the days since, have been words full of honesty, truth, humbleness, transparency, genuine sorrow, and his voice has been filled with the firm resolve of a man on a mission to make our kids safer.  At the end of the press conference, I was filled with pride at being Catholic, in serving the Church as a Deacon, and especially at my Bishop’s response to Mr. Tucker.  I saw some 40 years of heartache in my own family compressed into just 23.5 hours from Mr. Tucker’s first contact with the Chancery to Fr. Casey being stripped of his faculties; this is how long it took to report the abuse by Mr. Tucker, inform the authorities, suspend and finally permanently remove Fr. Casey from ministry, and hold a press conference to totally bring credibility to Mr. Casey’s allegations.  It was nothing short of a miracle in my eyes and it felt really good to witness the whole thing. 
But at the end of the day, I found myself praying for Fr. Casey as well as Mr. Tucker.  Both are in need of our prayers and while each need very different things right now, there is only one person that can supply them all: Jesus Christ.  Only Christ can restore lost dignity to Mr. Tucker and offer mercy and forgiveness to Fr. Casey.  The cross is the most amazing symbol of God’s love that can heal all wounds and bring about true reconciliation, no matter what we have done.  I pray the cross of Christ will allow both men to be freed from all anxiety and fill each of them with the hope of the risen Lord.
- Deacon Patrick Murphy-Racey